Considering Self-Assessment

"But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God." —1 Corinthians 4:3-5

The Draw to Look Inward

Sadly, it didn't take much for Adam and Eve to become self-absorbed. All it took was the serpent's persuasive counsel for them to abandon God's loving counsel and reach for self-sufficiency. Instead of trusting God’s loving wisdom, they looked inward and decided they needed more than what God offered.

In that singular moment of rebellious individualism, Adam and Eve set the pattern for humanity’s perpetual wrestle. Our fleshly intuition tells us to look inward for answers, while faith warns that what we’re looking for is found somewhere else.

The draw to look inward is strong and fairly logical. We believe we know ourselves better than anyone else, since—quite simply—no one else is us. We don't understand ourselves, but we feel like we should, so we rummage through our internal world and try to connect the dots. Also, it feels odd to think that someone other than ourselves could better understand us or make sense of the things we do.

Yet, Scripture tells us just this. Jeremiah 17:9-10 says the heart is deceitful and sick, and the Lord is the only one who can make sense of it.

Looking for Understanding

This leads to an important truth—God sees us more accurately than we do. Instead of relying on self-discovery, it's better that we learn to see ourselves through God's eyes.

The apostle Paul makes this clear in 1 Corinthians 4. He goes so far as to say that his judgment or anyone else’s judgment of himself is insignificant compared to God's judgment. Paul essentially claims he is unqualified to judge himself and, therefore, he entrusts himself to God’s judgment.

This is a beautiful picture of childlike faith. As a child looks to their parents to make sense of the world and their place in it, so too does Paul look to his heavenly Father. Paul doesn’t look inward for his answers, but outward and upward.

Tools for Seeing Clearly

God has provided specific tools to help us understand ourselves and how to live well in this broken world. It feels impossible to talk about these tools without it feeling cliché, but that makes the tools no less powerful or necessary for navigating this life faithfully. Here are three tools I want to focus on briefly: the Bible, the church, and prayer.

The Bible

The Bible is God’s Word, given to us to know Him and then understand ourselves. No book is more powerful, and our counsel must be saturated with Scripture to best help those in our care. The Bible is God’s wisdom graciously given to us, which reminds us that true wisdom doesn't come from within ourselves. True wisdom is given, and we serve a God who loves to give that wisdom generously (James 1:5).

The Church

The church is God’s gift to His children to help us endure in this challenging world. We grasp the beauty and complexity of God through church community, as each part of the local body of believers stewards their gifts for the benefit of one another. In community, we daily encourage one another to avoid falling prey to the deceitfulness of sin. Scripture tells us we need daily encouragement from our brothers and sisters in Christ so we do not grow weary in doing good (Heb. 3:13).

Prayer

Prayer reminds us we're not self-sufficient. We pray because we know we can't do this on our own. We pray to teach our hearts to trust our heavenly Father more than what our eyes can see. We pray because we believe God knows our needs in each moment better than we do. We pray because we know that unless God moves, nothing will truly change for the better. And, lastly, we pray because we know God cares about and responds to the petitions of His children.

The Goal of Counseling

The greatest gift we can give those we counsel is not a better understanding of themselves, but a better understanding of God. We see ourselves rightly and understand the nature of our existence when we better understand God. This doesn't mean we neglect our internal world, but rather we consider our internal world by using the grace-filled tools God has given us.

Questions for Reflection:

• What do you typically turn toward to make sense of yourself and your struggles? Are there parts of your life where you're living as though your understanding of yourself is more accurate than God’s?
• Are there people in your life whose judgment has more influence on you than God’s? If yes, why do you think this is the case?
• Are you using the tools God has given to help you in your struggles? If not, what's keeping you from doing so? Are the people in your care learning to apply these tools to their struggles?
• Do you have people in your life who encourage you to not grow weary of doing good? As helpers, we often neglect the reality of our neediness. This has been, and continues to be, an area I need to grow in. If you're like me, ask for God to specifically help you grow in this area.